{"id":7012,"date":"2012-04-01T19:21:30","date_gmt":"2012-04-01T09:21:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.thefatwebsite.com\/?p=7012"},"modified":"2012-04-01T19:29:05","modified_gmt":"2012-04-01T09:29:05","slug":"wrestlemania-xxviii-predictions-thread","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.thefatwebsite.com\/?p=7012","title":{"rendered":"Wrestlemania XXVIII Predictions Thread"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>It’s Wrestlemania<\/em> time!<\/p>\n

Wrestlemania<\/em>, the WWE’s flagship show, is airing this Monday morning in Australia.\u00a0 The show is eminating from Miami, Florida (The Rock’s hometown) at a sold out open air show at Sunlight Stadium.\u00a0 It is headlined by the marquee match John Cena vs The Rock, which has been over a year in the making.<\/p>\n

Why Will Wrestlemania<\/em> XXVIII<\/em> Be Awesome?<\/strong><\/h2>\n

For last year’s Wrestlemania predictions<\/a> blog, I wrote a pretty dour prologue, remarking on how stale the company was, with the same old faces (Cena, Orton, Triple H) headlining the company for close to a decade.\u00a0 The biggest reason to be excited for last year’s Wrestlemania was the potential<\/em> for them to do something different.\u00a0 In the end, they didn’t deliver.\u00a0 Wrestlemania XXVII was pretty unremarkable.\u00a0 There was a couple of decent matches but nothing to match the calibre of years past.<\/p>\n

To WWE’s credit, in the twelve months since then, they have finally (FINALLY!) gotten behind some new wrestlers and given the company some much needed fresh air.\u00a0 Heading into the show as champions are CM Punk and “American Dragon” Daniel Bryan, two very talented wrestlers who have worked the indy circuit for years and have finally been given a chance to shine in the largest wrestling company in the world.\u00a0 Both have had championship reigns lasting several months, Punk as a face and Bryan as a heel.\u00a0 They both excel in the ring, have outstanding mic skills and offering something completely different from the previous crop of headlining wrestlers.<\/p>\n

Punk is a straight edge, drug and alcohol free native of Chicago.\u00a0 His unconventional appearance (he is not a gigantic muscle-bound freak) and personality make him the anti-thesis of John Cena, the headlining babyface of the company since 2005.\u00a0 Cena’s white guy rapper gimmick and clean cut kiddie-pandering promos have made him the bane of many wrestling fans.\u00a0 The rise of a performer like CM Punk after Cena’s lengthy spell at the top reminds me of the transition from Hogan to Bret Hart in the early Nineties.<\/p>\n

Punk has actually had three previous World title runs but they have been shorter and his positioning in the company made it clear he was not genuinely considered a main event performer during that run.\u00a0 It was only after his infamous promo on RAW did he finally cement his spot.\u00a0 For Daniel Bryan, his unexpected World Title win at TLC 2011 over The Big Show was to mark his first ever title reign as champion.\u00a0 Against all expectations, he has held onto the belt for five months and is really hitting his stride as an arrogant vegan showboater who is a jerk to his valet\/lover AJ who is still somewhat of a babyface in the fan’s eyes.\u00a0 The dynamic of a heel champion who treats his babyface valet like dirt reminds of classic Macho Man Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth from the late Eighties.<\/p>\n

Whatever the outcome of their respective matches, its great to see CM Punk and Daniel Bryan enter Wrestlemania as champions.\u00a0 A year ago, one of them wrestled in an untelevised curtain jerker and the other guy was in a feud against Randy Orton where he lost every single match.\u00a0 A big part of why Wrestlemania XXVIII<\/em> will be awesome is because it is being built around these two excellent performers as the World Champions.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The other reason this show will be awesome is because wrestling events at gigantic outdoor venues are pretty rare and always look rad.<\/p>\n

How do I prepare for Wrestlemania?<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Wrestlemania usually runs about 3-4 hours long so if you’re watching at home, its best you make some snacks for the occasion.\u00a0 Here’s a wrestling-themed potluck dinner menu shamelessly stolen from Something Awful:<\/p>\n

Amuse-bouchewhackers<\/strong><\/p>\n

Riquichei
\nBad News Brownie Bites<\/p>\n

Entr\u00e9es the Giant\/Trish Starters<\/strong><\/p>\n

You Can\u2019t Sashimi
\na selection of RAW fish<\/em><\/p>\n

Nachos Man Randy Savage
\nAlberto Doritos with Scotty 2 Hotty Salsa and guacaholy shit<\/em><\/p>\n

Jerry \u201cThe Wings\u201d Lawler
\nwith Michelle McCool Ranch dip and Vince MacMayonnaise<\/em><\/p>\n

Main Events<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Undertaker\u2019s Rest in Pizza
\nwith Santino Mozzarella and Ham Ham Bigelow<\/em><\/p>\n

The Great Khaliflower Cheese<\/p>\n

The Big Red Tagine<\/p>\n

Torture Rack of Ribs
\nwith Michael Coleslaw<\/em><\/p>\n

Bready Gruyereo
\ngrilled cheese sandwich<\/em><\/p>\n

Sweets Chin Music<\/strong><\/p>\n

Trifle H<\/p>\n

Sheamousse<\/p>\n

Several Chocolates Mark Henry<\/p>\n

D-Generation Eggs (or Batista Eggs)
\neaster eggs<\/em><\/p>\n

Candy Kanes<\/p>\n

The Fiz<\/strong><\/p>\n

Chris Jericoke<\/p>\n

Paul Heyman\u2019s Kool Aid<\/p>\n

Booker Tea<\/p>\n

Coffee Kingston<\/p>\n

Spirits Squad<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kelly Jelly vodka shot<\/p>\n

John Cena Colada<\/p>\n

Breakfast<\/strong><\/p>\n

Fruity Pebbles<\/p>\n

Superstar Billy Golden Grahams<\/p>\n

CM Pancakes
\nbecause, after wrestling, CM Punk aches<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

How about some predictions?<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Sure thing.
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Randy Orton vs Kane
\n“Battle of the Tards”
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

One of the strange things that happened when they turned Randy Orton face a couple of years ago was that they tried to play up his persona as that of someone who is mentally on edge.\u00a0 His theme song opens with the line “I hear voices in my head…” and he has mannerisms in the ring where he enters a trance-like state of concentration before applying his finishing move.\u00a0 I think<\/em> this is supposed to be evocative of Stone Cold Steve Austin’s Don’t Trust Anyone personality.\u00a0 Unfortunately, I think what we’ve ended up with is a character who seems unstable in a ‘I’m off my meds’ sort of way.<\/p>\n

Anyway, this is one of those matches where they are pairing up dance partners who have nothing better to do.\u00a0 Kane and Orton are both nutjobs who why not put them into a match together?\u00a0 The outcome doesn’t really matter because this match isn’t important in the slightest.<\/p>\n

Prediction:\u00a0 <\/em>Randy Orton.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Cody Rhodes (c) vs Big Show
\nIntercontinental Championship Match<\/strong><\/p>\n

This match should give us a pretty good idea of where the WWE is at.\u00a0 Cody Rhodes is someone who has slowly been getting over with audiences during his lengthy reign as the IC champ.\u00a0 He’s probably reached a point where he outlived the usefulness of the title.\u00a0 So what should<\/em> happen here is that he should lose the title to Big Show, but do so in a way that elevates him and prepares him for the main event in the months after Wrestlemania.\u00a0 Let’s see if they get it right.<\/p>\n

Prediction:\u00a0 <\/em>Big Show.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

TEAM JOHNNY vs TEAM TEDDY
\nThe Winning General Manager gains control of RAW and Smackdown<\/strong><\/p>\n

Teddy Long has been the General Manager of Smackdown for about eight years.\u00a0 During that time he periodically comes out and says ‘HOL ON A MINUTE DER PLAYA.\u00a0 WE GONNA MAKE DIS A TAG TEAM MATCH.’\u00a0 In the past, he used to always come out and announce ‘TONIGHT YOU WILL BE FIGHTING A MYSTERY OPPONENT.\u00a0 THAT MAN…IS KANE!’<\/p>\n

Anyway, its pretty tedious now.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, John Laurinitis, Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and RAW Interrim General Manager, is totally awesome.\u00a0 He looks and sounds exactly like Bob Einstein, the guy who plays Marty Funkhouser in Curb Your Enthusiasm<\/em> and is the surrogate in Arrested Development<\/em>.\u00a0 He is droll, ridiculously straight-laced and hugely entertaining with his dry sense of humour.\u00a0 He brings a subtlety to wrestling that is very rarely seen.<\/p>\n

If we’re lucky, his team should win this thing.<\/p>\n

Prediction:\u00a0 <\/em>TEAM JOHNNY.<\/p>\n

<\/em>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The Undertaker vs Triple H, featuring Special Guest Referee Shawn Michaels
\nHell In A Cell, Undertaker aiming for a WM record of 20-0<\/strong><\/p>\n

This match should be entertaining as there is no reason why they shouldn’t overbook this thing to hell and back.\u00a0 It’s a big milestone for Taker to reach (two goddamn decades!) and he is facing Triple H for a third time as his Wrestlemania opponent.\u00a0 I think its wise that they’ve acknowledged that at this stage, Taker is highly unlikely to be beaten in a conventional match.\u00a0 It’ll need Shawn Michaels cheating like hell, the spectacle of a cage to cover for the fact that these two talented performers are now old as fuck and it will look damn awesome to see a Hell In A Cell match at Wrestlemania (a first since WM15 I believe).\u00a0 Expect chair shots, run-ins, the ring exploding, two heel turns and a totally tainted victory for whoever wins.<\/p>\n

Prediction:\u00a0 The Undertaker….BUT, it would be awesome for Triple H to win just for the fallout and how they would book it.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Daniel Bryan (c), with AJ vs Sheamus (winner of the Royal Rumble)
\nWorld Heavyweight Championship<\/strong><\/p>\n

A sign of how much the company has changed is this match right here.\u00a0 These two men actually met last year at Wrestlemania XXVII but were not considered important enough so they wrestled in the untelevised pre-show portion so that Snooki from Jersey Shore<\/em> could wrestle on the actual pay per view.\u00a0 12 months later, they meet again in one of the headlining matches.<\/p>\n

I really, really, really want Daniel Bryan to retain here.\u00a0 He has been absolute gold as the champion and I feel like he’s only just getting started with where he could take his character.\u00a0 But<\/em>, a lot of the reason why he is so successful is getting heel heat from the audience is because he is the champion.\u00a0 I don’t really have anything against Sheamus.\u00a0 He’s a decent wrestler and its kinda neat seeing the company get so whole-heartedly behind a random ginger Irish dude.\u00a0 All signs point to Sheamus getting the title here but it must be noted that the last four<\/em> Royal Rumble winners haven’t been successful in capturing the title at Wrestlemania.\u00a0 I desperately hope Bryan makes it five.<\/p>\n

Prediction:\u00a0 <\/em>Sheamus.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

CM Punk (c) vs Chris Jericho
\nWWE Championship<\/strong><\/p>\n

I don’t really care who wins this, I just want them to get twenty minutes so they can put on the best possible match.\u00a0 The build up for the match has been really all over the place.\u00a0 Originally Jericho returned to the WWE as a mute troll, purposefully wasting the audience’s time with silence.\u00a0 Then he proclaimed at the Royal Rumble it would be the ‘end of the world as we know it.’\u00a0 He proceded to do nothing significant at the event (?).\u00a0 Then he started a feud with CM Punk over who was the best wrestler in the world but then that got ditched for a more personal storyline with Jericho publically calling out CM Punk’s father as an alcoholic and his sister as a drug addict.\u00a0 At the end of the day, who cares?\u00a0 I just want a good match and for Punk to get his Wrestlemania moment with the title.<\/p>\n

Prediction:\u00a0 <\/em>CM Punk.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

John Cena vs The Rock<\/strong><\/p>\n

The best part of this match should be the crazy crowd reaction that both men should elicit from the audience.\u00a0 There should be some pretty vociferous booing of John Cena and I’m not entirely convinced The Rock won’t be spared some too.\u00a0 Either way, both men can still go and they should be amped to perform in front of a molten hot crowd.\u00a0 Whereas the Triple H and Undertaker match should have all manner of hijinx, I expect this to end clean with a ‘respect’ handshake at the end.\u00a0 Sorta like The Rock vs Hulk Hogan from Wrestlemania XVIII.<\/p>\n

Prediction:\u00a0 <\/em>John Cena.<\/p>\n

I’ll post a follow up blog after the show.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s Wrestlemania time! Wrestlemania, the WWE’s flagship show, is airing this Monday morning in Australia.\u00a0 The show is eminating from Miami, Florida (The Rock’s hometown) at a sold out open air show at Sunlight Stadium.\u00a0 It is headlined by the marquee match John Cena vs The Rock, which has been over a year in the …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[1168,1007,1225,495,1010],"class_list":["post-7012","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","tag-american-dragon","tag-cm-punk","tag-daniel-bryan","tag-wrestlemania","tag-wwe"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.thefatwebsite.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7012","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.thefatwebsite.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.thefatwebsite.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.thefatwebsite.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.thefatwebsite.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7012"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/www.thefatwebsite.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7012\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7025,"href":"http:\/\/www.thefatwebsite.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7012\/revisions\/7025"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.thefatwebsite.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7012"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.thefatwebsite.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7012"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.thefatwebsite.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7012"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}