I think that as a blogger, in the face of the public eye, I have a duty to the readers to keep up to date with new an innovating discoveries, in turn passing on my knowledge. At school today I learnt a new contraceptive method. Some of you may already be vary familiar with this so I apologise in advance if I am preaching to the converted. The term used is \u2018douching,\u2019 I believe, and is a fairly complex procedure which can be used when the \u2018withdrawal\u2019 method fails. After sex, having ejaculated in to the vagina, the man then takes a carbonated beverage, shakes it, and then opens it, aiming it in to the vagina in order to \u2018flush out\u2019 the semen thus preventing the lady from becoming pregnant.<\/p>\n
My worst fears have been confirmed; old ladies really do talk about knitting. And it doesn\u2019t stop there, it\u2019s creeping up on middle-aged ladies too. I was at work yesterday afternoon clearing some tables when two frumpy women embarked on their conversation concerning quilting. After fifteen minutes or so I came back and the subject had moved on to a recent quilting exhibition that had been held at the local high school. Fair enough. Later in the evening I overheard their conversation take a sudden turn as they began to discuss the making of woollen garments and I swear that they were there for at least an hour before I was able to eavesdrop again and find out that one was analysing the technique used to make a certain scarf. Now, it is possible that this conversation was interspersed with other, more exciting anecdotes but seriously! Is the future that bleak? I want to know how long I\u2019ve got, when does it start setting in, this submissive domesticity\u2026 is there a time limit on us before the dynamic and interesting parts of our brain shut down?<\/p>\n
I feel like \u2018the Little Engine who could.\u2019 Last night, against all odds, I started and finished my World Literature essay on Camus\u2019 The Outsider. It was such a good feeling when I handed it up to my pasty English teacher who\u2019s dry sarcasm is so ambiguous that you never really know where you stand. He was sure that I was going to rock up with some feeble excuse. And so was I. But something about the combination of 1:00am and many a chocolate bud (the little drops of chocolate you\u2019re supposed to use in cooking) was strangely inspiring.<\/p>\n
This is SO not cool. I something bit my eye and now it has swollen up and I look like the nutcase off \u2018There\u2019s Something About Mary.\u2019 L<\/p>\n
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