It is a very strange period in my life at the moment. it is the time in my life where everything stops and changes… what do i do? where do i go? WHAT THE FUCK AM I GONNA DO WITH MY LIFE!? … so many fucking questions.
As you may be able to tell, i’m at a sort of crossroads in my life… i have already decided to take a ‘year out’ before going to university. however, now i’m starting to decided that this was the wrong idea as i have left it largely unorganised. Am i responsable to travel by myself? can i get work in places in which i want to go? where shall i go? my whole dream plan of months gone by has rapidly turned to crap.
i mean it took me until yesterday to finally find my passport again… two fucking months of worrying and panic. argh! do you realize if i’d lost it i wouldnt be allowed to leave the country and spend hours filling out police reports as well as going through application for another one. why do those little books mean so much in this world? … i mean shit, if i cant even keep it safe it in my room what the hell am i gonna do if i go backpacking?
I’m currently have two main ideas of what to do:
1) go on a ‘gay-year’ through a company… they can sort out my lodging and give me a job.
2) go to Australia for six months or so and hang with the numerous people that i know who live there.
mind you, going through a company will seriously lessen my freedom. But then again if i stay with random friends i will become very poor if i do not get a job.
i need happyness quickly, i’m gonna go listen to ‘Invisible Man’ by Scatman John