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I am going to win the lottery

The blessing of having a few days off means that you are at liberty to catch up on all the things that you should have done at some earlier point. Another blessing is of course, once all your chores are done, you are free to do precious little with your time.. Thankfully for me this has happened to coincide with one joyous event that was to spawn another and because of this I am convinced that I will win tonight’s lottery.

Now normally my monthly ‘I’m going to win the lottery’ moment is inspired by the fact that something lucky would’ve happened to me in the past week, or from the fact that my luck had seemed to have dried up over a month gone by. Hell, sometimes my inspiration comes from the fact that a 80 million is up for grabs for one unsuspecting gambler. But this week is different..

Itv3 decided that this week would be a perfect time to bust out an Agatha Christie’s Poirot marathon, complete with behind the scenes documentaries (yay)! So how better to continue my week off than by grabbing the ol’ laptop and write my outstanding articles infront of mine (and everybody’s) favourite Belgian tashed sleuth. During a series of advertising breaks, I witnessed a Derren Brown advert publicizing his latest series of TV stunts entitled ‘The events’:


Now as I am a big fan of Mr. Brown’s previous works (if you are unaware of him them please check out his back catalogue on, I was instantly intrigued. Therefore with my trusty laptop at my side I decided to do a bit of picking apart.. I inserted both web addresses that you can notice in the background of the advert and after a solitary click they redirected me to Derren’s website. There I watched a video of him claiming that for his first, in a series of, events he will attempt to predict the tonight’s lottery numbers. Now normally when people predict such I like to humour them but actually write them off without a second thought. But with Derren it is different. His track record suggests that as unbelievable as it may seem, he is almost destined to succeed..

As my excitement grew in apprehension of his new series I decided to give the initial advert another look over. You see Derren is a very calculating individual and does not normally say or do things without each word or gesture being meticulously planned.. therefore I thought I’d look out for ‘clues’ about the up-and-coming series.. As it turns out I noticed that there were 5 numbers written on the lamp post.. I interpreted this in two ways, (i) the numbers are completely random and instead it is an indication that one of the events will be lottery based [which he has just revealed it will be], or (ii) I’ma get me paid! I prefer to go with the second hypothesis.. it has got to be worth a punt.

Wish me luck.


The time struck, and Derren came on the TV.. now for those not from the UK I will explain something very quick. BBC1 has exclusive rights to the lottery and therefore there seemed to be red tape between Channel4 (who host Derren), and the Beeb… During the lottery draw I was constantly flicking between the two channels inorder to ensure that it was a live feed without any tampering:

The first number drawn was 23, a number which I picked, I turned to my housemate, grabbed him and said this was it.. we will no longer be friends because I was soon to be fabulously wealthy and thus would be moving out and starting a life mingling with people of my newly found social stature… I matched up no further numbers. 🙁

Derren however did rather well:



About Matt

London-based freelancing stylin' profilin' people's champion

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