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When life sucks, put on foreign subtitles

I’m gonna attempt to make this site slightly move uplifting than it has been recently.

but first off:

Edo, i’m sorry dude. i’ll give you a call on wednesday when i get back to england (if i can) maybe it’ll help you out.
Sam, dude… that fucking sucks. but just ride the bad times dude, it’ll kick into place soon enough. dam the man.
Ok then. last night i went out for dinner with my host family… this was interesting for a various number of reasons:

1) i ordered something which i didnt know the english translation and basically cause i was getting fed up of saying that i didnt know what they were asking me. yep, thats right, it turned out to be some kind of sea snake. it was quite good actually. the way i see it was that i ate ‘some kind’ of sea food on Good friday.
2) It was out on the side walk in a really nice pedestrian area and some drunken driver decided to drive thru there and inturn hit some huge athletic-looking dude. He then proceeded to chase after the car (still driving) and pull the driver out of the car and beat the living piss out of him… I guess that’ll teach him for knocking a french person’s cigarette out of his hand!
3) The meal was quite good but I couldn’t get a certain feeling out of my mind… no it wasn’t that I didn’t know what the hell I was eating, nor was it the fact that I’d seen some guy just get hit by a car and then kick the fuck out of the driver… it was the fact that the guy on the table opposite me looked shit loads like “the rock”. I swear everytime I turned away he would give me ‘the people’s eyebrow’… it was kinda off putting… so I did what and my should do when in this position, I ordered pie for dessert.

So that was my night. Today I have the privilege of going on a campervan 3 day holiday with the family. My thoughts on this: hell, who needs personal space anyway! Maybe I can lock myself in the bathroom and convince them that they’ve left me behind. To make things even MORE challenging this evening I’m going to a 20th wedding anniversary, yea there’s gonna be about 200 people there… I’ll have the privilege of knowing about 2% of the people there!

Other things I have experienced while being in France is that Disney classics (which I dearly love, and which me and edo used to put on in the background to every party we used to have!) really suck in foreign countries… I mean if I was a young kid, who’d seen all the movies and then had to watch them in french, it would be absolutely earth shattering!! The song that the french chef in “the little mermaid” sings is rendered completely useless. This disgusts me to no end.

Tagging along to this is the dubbing of movies… I believe that this is fine, otherwise billions of people in the world would never be able to watch great movies such as ‘Seven’, ‘psycho’, ‘the usual suspects’ and ‘Waterworld’… ok maybe it’d be better if no one; even the english speaking public, saw Waterworld. How ever I had serious beef to pick with the renaming of these movies in other languages. I will give you an example… do you know what they call ‘cool runnings’ in france? No? well that’s cause they changed the name to not only resemble the original name, but to give this movie the world’s supidest name ever!! They call it… ‘Rasta Rocket’. Nuff said.


About Matt

London-based freelancing stylin' profilin' people's champion

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