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WTF is going on here?

I wrote a really long sexual update yesterday, but the site was gay and didn’t save it, so I will write it all out again, coz I am cool.

For those who don’t know, I am working for an employment agency. Basically, they hook you up with temporary, boring as fuck jobs, while the people who usually do them are sick, or away on holiday or whatever. And they have managed to give me two of the shitest jobs in the world. The first one, I looked at exhaust pipes for a living….excitement. And now I have a new one….

I work from 8am to 5pm with half an hour for lunch (yes, 8 and a half hours a day). Most people writing for this site haven’t doe that much work in their entire lives. Gay. Anyway, I have to cut up pieces of aluminium with a big ass circular saw all day. I take 3 meter lengths of aluminium, and cut them into lenghts of 7 cm (give or take 3mm). I cut 600 of them yesterday. And this may be boring enough, but the worst part, is the side effects. When the metal is cut, littel shards of metal fly up off the aluminium and hit me. The ones that hit my hands sting a little (and then sting a lot when I take a shower), the ones that hit my face and neck sting like a bitch, and the ones that manage to hit me on the lips, hurt like a motherfucker. Littel bastards fly up, and hit my sweet tender lips. Fuckers.

But it’s not all bad, they do pay me 4.50 an hour, which makes 38.25 pounds a day, and hence 175.50 pounds a week. And yes I worked that out while I was working because I was that bored.

I have a new method of looking at money. If i say, wanted to buy a pack of smokes, I would say “hmmm, I worked for a whole hour for these, and got shot in the lip with bits of metal…do I want them that bad?”. And it almost always stops me.

I am going to see tom this weekend. He will give me kinky bum sex, he promised.

I am going to see Slipknot on november 9th. I doubt Corey will give me kinky bum sex. It will however be dammn fucking nice. I am so hyped it is not even funny. I get to wear overalls at work, so I pretend I am the 10th member. I’ll be No. 9 – Sam Oakley – Glockenspiel. That’ll be cool.

Someone write to me, I am sick of only getting emails that read “J-Lo gets gangbanged by the entire Bad Boy Crew” or “Viacreme, for women” that apparently, when rubbed on the genitals, makes female orgasms possible without any stimulation. I want some. I want a female orgasm….

About Sam

Sam currently lives in St. Thomas in the Caribbean where he drinks too much rum and is conveniently ignoring becoming an adult.

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