The FAT Website est. 1999
Well, its christmas eve.
I feel like i should really have something better to do….
I do really, I am going down the pub in about 20 minutes with the lads, so I have laready started and am currently working my way through my 3rd Jack and coke….which in all truth is probably the only motivation i have to post.
Rant!!!
What the fuck is up with flying nowadays? I used to really enjoy flying…now its absolute shit. I get to the airport, and it takes me no less than an hour and a half to fucking check in. Then once checked in, I have a little while so i figure I’d go for a smoke…is there a smoking lounge? Is there fuck! Apparently, if you wanna smoke you have to go back out through security to the fucking pavement!
Same shit when i got to houston. I had a 4 hour layover and everytime i needed a goddam fag i had to go out, and then come back through and have myself groped by a 9ft black guy. The amount of times I went back and forth through that goddam security, i reckon they thought I got a kick out of it. Either that or I was mildly excited by the 9ft security guard’s wand….
Then, when you get on the fucking plane it turns out to be shit.
The movie was fucking “My Boss’s Daughter.” Wank…and get this…they are now CHARGING for headsets!! $3 for a pair of fucking headphones to watch the movie. Good job I had my own. Then when I ask if I can have a beer they tried to charge me for that shit too. $5 for a fucking can of beer. I told the stewardess in no uncertain terms where she can stick her $5 and her Budweiser.
Go listen to Atreyu…its making me feel better.
End Rant
Apart from that, its nice to be back in England…meeting all the boys again. Drinking my entire life savings away…ahh yes… i have a grand future of alcoholism ahead of me. And i get to smoke in these pubs too which is nice, as opposed to having to leave the vicinity to have a fucking cigarette. California is gay. Fuck Arnold.
Although I was at the bar last night…and I spotted a rather attractive young lady sat at the bar. Slightly shorter than me…voluptous (sp?) and an arse you would could eat sushi off. So I made the approach, and engaged in conversation. Florring her with my fake American accent and talk of “faucets”, “hoods and trunks” and mispronoucing basic herbs and kitchen supplies.
Then noticing that she was only drinking coca-cola, i asked why she was not on the juice.
Her reply:
“I’m only 16”
Que Sam coughing uncontrollably, and making a swift exit from that encounter.
What the fuck are they putting in the water these days!??
This holiday, all going good and well, I will see Tom, Angela and Harriet. Exciting times. I may even see chunky chunky fat chunky head. And if you don’t know who that is…you will never know. Muhahah.
Am I geek for not caring about whether or not I see LOTR? I thought the first two movies were fine, but nothing to write home about. i frankly can’t be arsed with the whole thing.
Anyway, I am going to go drink away money I haven’t got, puke up food I haven’t eaten and shell out the christmas spirit I don’t have
Merry fucking drunken christmas everyone.
