Don't Miss
Home > Blog > Crotch Shot

Crotch Shot

Denise is my rock. When things go wrong I call her. A few days ago I started bleeding out my mouth. Just totally out of blue while I was typing at the computer. I completely freaked out and called her at work and sheepishly said “I’m bleeding out my mouth. What do I do?” and she calmed me down and gave some sensible advice. Today, I finally worked out what I’m doing for my Net 392 class. I’m going to make a website about an artist (thrilling, I know) and I called her again to see if she knew any. Sure enough, her sister is an artist and has loads of portfolios and stuff of her work I could scan and use. Good old Denise~! I’ve asked her some tricky ones before too and she’s always come through. I’ve called up and and she helped me with:

“My friend may be restarting a previously out-of-control drug habit, what do I do?”
“Is it okay to drink 2 litres of milk in 1 sitting?”
“My cooker is broken. What are some good oven recipes?”
“My other friend may be restarting a previously out-of-control drug habit, what do I do?”
“My computer has a virus. Do you have Norton Anti-virus?”
“It’s raining. Can you come pick me up?”

My friend recently got such shitty grades, his mother came over to live with him and kick his ass back in to shape. He’s quite the pot smoker so he comes over to our house now to smoke since his mom is always at home. The other day he told me he had an ingenious plan. He told me he was going to become a dealer. Which is interesting since he doesn’t have a car and he can’t keep a bag of grass in his house let alone a whole ounce with which to deal. Before he even thought of suggesting he run his little scheme at my flat, I nipped it in the bud.

I hadn’t seen Mcgee in a few days. I went over last night for her friend’s leaving night and she smacked me in the nuts with a rough edged cushion. And we drank wine.

She made me a mixtape. Even signed off with my petname for her: ‘Swampy’. Swampy comes from the term ‘swamp ass’ which, for those in the dark, is a condition that affects some people where when they do vigourous exercise they get a sweaty butt. Which was a lot better than the first petname: Fuckmuffin. Not suprisingly, that one didn’t stick.

Re mixtape: I’m listening to a lot of Badly Drawn Boy and The Eels right now.

I did point out to Mcgee that she kinda treats me like a gay best friend and she agreed to start addressing me like I’m a macho rugged super man-beast. I think she was taking the piss.

I finally learnt how to do the kip-up! You know that thing where you lie on the ground and then you flip up on to your feet in one motion. I spent the past week trying it and falling on the back of my neck until I got it right. Now if I get in a fight in a large open area and someone shoves me over, I can kip right back up on to my feet as long as they don’t follow through and beat the shit out of me when I’m lying on the floor.

We know this guy who brings us free fresh bread on Sunday. It’s the best thing going.

Lastly, have a safe trip Pat to England. Look after him Angela and make sure you get some good photos.

Posted by Edo @ 04:04 PM AST [Link] [3 comments]

Replies: 3 comments

I’m not really sure Dee. I think (hope) it was from a cut in my mouth but I couldn’t feel one or find any laceration. Bit scary but I’ve been feeling healthy since and there’s been no more bleeding.

Posted by Edo @ 08/27/2003 10:19 PM AST

conincidentally Denise is Brian’s rock too! oi oi!


Posted by Matt @ 08/27/2003 06:06 PM AST

incidently, why were you bleeding from the mouth?

Posted by dee @ 08/27/2003 05:48 PM AST

About Edo

Edo currently lives in Australia where he spends his time playing video games and enjoying his wife's cooking.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *