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Dude, I don’t like bananas

Edo came back today. We caught up a little on the phone before my amah screeched out that dinner was ready.

I have spent the last three weeks just hanging out with Ismay. Its strange how you guys were just talking about not being able to let go of past memories and stuff, but it has been an absolute laugh being able to hang out with one of my best friends again. I dont think i have a problem with letting go. I think i learnt the hard way. I wasted a year of my life at uni not being able to let go of the life i had here in Brunei, and i saw my friends that i had made there only ‘temporary’. They werent a Long Term Friend. I couldnt let go of the fact that i was leading a separate life from people here, that i wasnt with John, that i just had a whole new begining to get used to. Only when things ended between me and John did i fully appreciate what i had going for me in England. And a year later, i feel like that place is my home now, that those people who i had considered ‘temporary’ are indeed Long Term Friends.

Blatantly, we’re all getting older. Even the way we’ve handled ourselves in new relationships are different. I’m seeing Robin. Its not like any relationship i’ve had before. Instead of that lovey dovey, we’re-in-our-own-bubble kind of relationship, we’re more like…equals? I hate that word. It sounds stupid. We give out to each other…alot. But theres still the underlying factor that we fancy one other like mad, and wouldnt have it any other way. If he turned round to me one day and said “you are the most amazing girl i’ve ever met” i’d probably run away in alarm. But if he looked at me instead and said “you’re fukkin rubbish” with a grin on his face, i’m likely to laugh at him, give him a quick kiss and piss off to do my own thing. I like the fact that we can be ourselves round each other, that i dont have to be Nice 24 hours a day. That i can properly be myself around him is good. It feels more Real. It makes all the sweet things that much sweeter because they seem so much more genuine. He made me an origami heart out of his old lottery ticket. I stuck it on my wall. That gesture felt more genuine than any expensive gift i’ve gotten from anyone.

Man…I miss hanging out at the Junction. I miss the sounds of blokes getting all foolish over football. I miss the smell of sticky beer everywhere. I miss the sunny summer vibe that Brunei lacks. I miss being out There.

We’ve all got issues. I dont want to think that writing here, and reading how everyone is coping with their lives is a way of not letting go. I come here to feel like i’m not entirely on my own. In a way… Brunei friends are like family, we never really just go away.

Satu cinta. Brunei style. heeehee….

Posted by Angela @ 12:26 AM AST [Link] [6 comments]

Replies: 6 comments

haha this is the greatest thing ever!!!!!!!!!!!!111

Posted by bleached88 @ 09/16/2003 08:17 AM AST

haha this is the greatest thing ever!!!!!!!!!!!!111

Posted by bleached88 @ 09/16/2003 08:17 AM AST

haha this is the greatest thing ever!!!!!!!!!!!!111

Posted by bleached88 @ 09/16/2003 08:17 AM AST

When i first moved to Canada, i had no interest in meeting people here and vice-versa it seemed. So i zoned out and lived my social life through the Internet and MSN. Thats when my mum of all people said that i have to move on. So i made the effort the make a few friends, thats when i met becca. Things were great, after that fell through…i literally met everyone in my class and now i have a great circle of friends for me to comfortably call Vernon my hometown.

Posted by Pat @ 07/04/2003 01:48 PM AST

Now…get to the forum and lets talk Order of the Phoenix.

Posted by Edo @ 07/04/2003 03:45 AM AST

It took me THREE fucking years of my life to properly move on from Brunei. I pretty much spent the last two years of high school not making proper friends and just holding out until i got to go back to Brunei. That holds true now. I am in touch with no one from St Kentigern College.

And the first year of uni was all katekatekate.

But now Perth is home. I think it started with Polly, my first new best friend outside of Brunei and then from there Kolitha, Wesley, Mcgee, Denise, Melissa, Natalie, Christine, Sarah and a whole bunch of people no one here has ever met has made Perth home for me.

Posted by Edo @ 07/04/2003 03:43 AM AST

About Angela

Angela lives in the UK with her cat Leo. She enjoys reading, gardening and recreationally fighting elderly women.

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