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Super Heroes Don’t Drink Colt

HELLO! I’m Sam. I used to go to school with some of these guys. Others I know through friends, and some I have never met.

Quick introduction, I am 19, I am currently in the UK, working a shitty factory job, and I start college at SBCC in August. I smoke also. I smoke B & H when i can afford it, but usually, its B&H Sovereign (cheapskate B&H). I dont know anything about sex as I have not had it in about 18 months, why you may ask? The first answer is because I have a skill of repelling birds so powerfull, they call me the scarecrow. The second being that I have a girlfriend of a year an a half that lives in Australia, thus making sex rather difficult. And no, I didnt meet her on the internet.

Infact, the only sex story I can tell to come close to Mike’s is one that happened almost 2 years ago now. I was getting head in the bathroom, (similarly to Mike, though I was standing up), I had had enough, so we stumbled into the bedroom, and in my drunken state, in the time it took me to get the old glove on, Mr Happy had fallen asleep with no intention of waking. I have been known as ‘noodles’ ever since. How embarrassing.

The only thing I full understood about Dan’s update, and indeed the only two words in it that I use in everyday conversation were “pizza” and “vodka”.

Thank you to Angela for telling us about fish eating shit. That really helped my pizza and carlsberg down. But speaking from experience; if, when you are scuba diving, pull out your regulator and throw up, the fish love it! (it is recommended to remove your regulator, otherwise you’d be sucking carrot chunks for the rest of the dive)

I bet I am a designer tablet. I dont wanna be a designer tablet. Edo, give me a real face.

Also, I suggest everyone who ever liked Rancid to download the Lawrence Arms’ “I’ll Take What’s In The Box Monty”. This is a good song.


About Sam

Sam currently lives in St. Thomas in the Caribbean where he drinks too much rum and is conveniently ignoring becoming an adult.

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