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The Weekend Report

The weekend was reasonably successful. Friday night was at Dan’s mate’s house for some party. It was pretty weak to start off with. Dan knows too many goths. Hilariously, I found an insecure goth. I talked to him about bands and if you’re a goth, it’s an exclusive music scene and heaven forbid you actually like another type of music.

Me: So what do you listen to?
Insecure Goth: System of a Down, Tool, Incubus…
Me: Incubus?
Insecure Goth: No, Incubus Succubus! I HATE INCUBUS MAN! I ONLY LIKE INCUBUS SUCUBUS (looks around nervously)

There was this enormous girl walking around dressed entirely in purple (and purple hair). She was the saddest girl in the world and Dan’s mate Brad took full advantage of this and made her do demeaning things for our entertainment. He blindfolded her and sat her in a chair and made her stick out her tongue out and just made her beg for stuff to be put in her mouth. This girl ate an entire bowl of tomato ketchup (!) and a bottle of mayonaise. The worst bit was that a guy said ‘Ok, thats enough now’ and she was like ‘No! Keep it coming!’ and it turns out this guy is her henpecked boyfriend who is sitting there watching this guy humiliate his girlfriend. Later that night I saw him walking around with her and he had tied up her arms so she couldn’t get away.

Some stranger walked up to me and picked me out of a crowd of people to sell drugs. Maybe it was my bowling shirt that made him do it. The guy’s name was Pogo, as in he met Pogo from Marilyn Manson’s band and he’s a big fan and goes by the same name. He gave me a contact with the words ‘for ANY drugs, piercings, tattoos, leather gear and Stuff’.

Went home with some kids from the party and watched Army of Darkness.

Saturday night there was a cocktail party. It was pretty awful. There was a one armed lady though which was cool. So went home and tried some of Pogo’s wares. It was okay. We watched some old ECW tapes.

I’m tired. I have laundry to do. And some tapes to return.

About Edo

Edo currently lives in Australia where he spends his time playing video games and enjoying his wife's cooking.

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