I was reading in TIME magazine about those twin babies that were adopted on the internet and all the custody battles that are going on between the mother and the family that adopted them. In the interests of writing an article about online adoption for the FAT website I’m going to try and buy a baby online.  If anyone knows ...

I’ve spent a curious evening. To celebrate my near-completion of a significant amount of the year’s work, I drank myself silly and woke up, hungover, at 3am. I hauled my stone-age computer online as an excuse not to do something worthwhile, like cleaning my place which is a fucking sty at the minute. It being so early I saw people ...

There is excitement in the air.  There is an International School disco on Saturday.  There are live bands and little kids who punch Indian kids in the face.  It will reek of awesomeness (and a little vodka). We need a name for the upcoming Porn themed party.  Tentative titles have included: *Palace of Porn *Porn-O-Rama 2:  The Second Coming *Hardcore ...

The day before Chinese New Year was spent organizing the acquisition of large quantities of alcohol and ****s and pornography and wrestling tapes.  Then I end up spending Chinese New Year with Jess and Tom listening to a dumpy little kid talk about earthworms having sex.  We almost watched Lion King 2 but we took a rain check because we ...

I noticed an interesting phenomenon this Sunday. I was in KB staying at a friends house. The night before we had all been drinking and watching a lot of porn, in fact, some of the best porn there is (Sorority Sex Kittens, Debbie Does Dallas etc.) but that is beside the point. We all woke up with extreme hangovers and ...

A shining example of how to have fun in Brunei:  Get 15 guys and girls, stick them in 3 hotel rooms with 9 bottles of liquor and throw a bitchin’ toga/karaoke/dance party. In keeping with the Roman Empire theme there was: * Togas.  Only they were crap and so we took them off. * A sword.  $5 from the Toy ...

Almost everyone (alright, fine, everyone) I know has the opinion that Brunei is somewhat….boring. Lacking in the social department. Dull. What people don’t realise are the things that make Brunei so unique, and hence…interesting? Heaven forbid. Humorous? Unlikely. Exciting? Yes, that’s definitely pushing it a little, but, hey, it makes for interesting reading. Take this guy for example. Steve. A ...

Has anyone else met Dan Rose’s sister?  Oh my god!  If there’s something that really gets to me, it’s music fan-boys (or girls in this case). The kind of person who is mortified if someone’s music taste diverges from theirs (or in Cass’ case, she takes personal offence that I can’t guess the type of music she likes from the ...

Today I was supposed to go snowboarding but I didn’t as I was tired from playing indoor soccer last night in this men’s league I joined. I was playing with all these old men who were always pushing me around and swearing loads, I actually managed to play two games despite my unfitness and tied both games. My legs are ...

I can’t believe how scathing that last (or should I say, first) post was. I hope I haven’t offended anybody. I’ve just got this incredible anger against the world. No, I’m not a psychopath, I just have the flu and you know how illness tends to make you all indignant. One almost hates the world when one is sick, don’t ...