Let Down

What a poor weekend.

On Friday a friend of mine, Timmy, tried to get in contact with me at night while I was out watching Identity with Mcgee. My cell phone was dead so I couldn’t contact him. So Mcgee took some initiative and called the operator, tracked down his number so I could call him back on a payphone. I only tried once and then forgot about it the rest of the weekend.

Saturday was the big party for Jenny. I didn’t go. And I handled things in the worst way by simply not contacting her before or after the party. I just flat out no-showed the whole deal. I saw her on Monday and didn’t even have an excuse. I literally told her I just didn’t feel up to going. Even worse, she was really understanding about it which made me feel like a piece of crap.

Saturday night Kate phoned from New Zealand and wanted to talk. I put it off and promised to call her on Sunday which I didn’t do. Again, I have no real explanation why.

I’m pretty frustrated with how I handled things and why I pretty much bailed on everyone. I ended up spending the whole weekend with Mcgee at the expense of everyone else. That’s not very good. I remember I used to do a similar thing with Polly.

At the start of the weekend Mcgee said she wanted to hang out, but it was the way she said it which was what got to me. She said she generally only feels comfortable hanging around for long periods of time with me and Denise. It was kind of a thrilling sensation to hear her say that. People who know me know that I love being in a clique. As a kid I formed little cliques with Mike based around cards and the band and stuff. A couple of years ago a bunch of us in Brunei had a clique for theme parties (which I remember me and Tom modestly referring to ourselves as The Children of the Revolution). me and Polly were the Me And Polly Club. I like the idea of being in a small exclusive group. Us against the world. Fuck everyone else. The only problem is, I struggle with moderation and sometimes end up neglecting other people and other stuff I have to do. Like this weekend.

Got some minor adjustments to do to my corporate doco. I have to change the music and stuff. For some reason, this time I get paid for it. Not sure why. They never paid us before. Guess I shouldn’t complain.

Guess I should go do my homework now. Only, I don’t have very much of it. In fact, I have very little to do. Idle hands are the devil’s playground. Rock n’ roll.

By the way, check out Dan’s swanky new layout. Click here. Honestly. Why doesn’t he design for our site?